I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
