playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
