I forgot how hot balto sounded
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
