he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just want nice things and good sex
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
