You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
