Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
not ubering you a puppy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
