I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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