I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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