He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
