Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
