There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
