do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Buhtt sex?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
