He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Blood and glitter go together right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
