I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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