its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
