I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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