At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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