just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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