I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
