I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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