awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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