I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
