Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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