This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
