Your dad touched me again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
