the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize