Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
