goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
