So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
