it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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