Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
