This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
