Whoa Z and x make the same sound
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
