I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
