Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
