So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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