no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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