she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
