They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
