Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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