I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
