I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
