We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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