Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
