Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
