So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
