google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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