good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize