One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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