...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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