Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
