im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We got so high we made milksteak
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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