I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need moral support for this bender
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
