told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
