I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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