Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
