Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
