ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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