Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
