I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
its not stalking. its research.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Mom said you looked used
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize