our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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