people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
