Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
